In a stunning display of bipartisanship, President Obama and the Republican Leadership have reached an historic compromise, agreeing to extend indefinitely the Bush Tax Cuts for the wealthiest Americans, but allowing the President’s term to expire prematurely, sometime in mid-2011.
Mr. Obama hailed this agreement as an example of “how the two parties can meet in the middle and respond to the needs of the electorate — and without even having to spend taxpayer funds on a slurpee for Mitch McConnell, or a Merlot for Speaker-to-be Boehner.”
The President further emphasized that he had still “stood on principle, by not handing the ‘keys’ back to the Republicans,” but that he would instead “serve as their ‘designated driver,’ by personally driving the car back into the ditch. Since the GOP is now the party of Bachmann and Palin,” Mr. Obama added, “just think of it as Driving Miss Crazy.”
As part of the agreement, the President will also submit a resignation confessing that he’s a Muslim socialist who tried to replace the Constitution with the Koranic Manifesto, but will avoid the harshest demands made by FOX News and Rush Limbaugh: that he be deported to Kenya.
Senate Minority Leader McConnell indicated that he initially harbored some reservations about the agreement, since he “originally wanted to not only impeach the President, but to actually annul his first two years in office.” But McConnell made clear that he and GOP House leaders had moderated their demands with the taxpayers’ best interests at heart, “by saving money on the forest of paper we would’ve used for subpoenas.”
“Besides,” McConnell concluded, “this is much better than our original goal to limit Obama to one full term. After all, we Republicans think it’s an historic compromise to have the nation’s first black President serve only 3/5ths of a term.”
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