Alice's Restaurant. A Thanksgiving Tradition

This song is called Alice's Restaurant, and it's about Alice, and the restaurant, but Alice's Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant. No.  That's just the name of the song, and that's why we all call the song Alice's Restaurant. Do you get it? Are you older than 55? Whatever.

Diana Krall

The Hack 30: Salon counts down the top 'journalist' hacks

The complete list of America's worst pundits. <Via Salon>
Here they are - but you need to click the link above to be properly briefed on these gasbags.

The Hack Thirty

1. Richard Cohen

2. Mark Halperin

3. Thomas Friedman

4. David Broder

5. Marty Peretz

6. Marc Thiessen

7. Jonah Goldberg

8. Maureen Dowd

9. Laura Ingraham

10. Peggy Noonan

Mark Morford on the Federal Leather Sniffers

<via SFGate>

Hi. I am now going to touch your junk.

Sweet Jesus, we should have thought of this ages ago. Why didn't we think of this ages ago?
It seems so obvious. You want to ignite some delicious outcry in this brutally divided country? You want to unite the wary populace around a single, seething hotbutton of patriotism, privacy and putrefied civil liberties?

Do not launch bogus wars that cannot be won. Do not tell them lies about a major health care reform package that actually helps millions. Do not invade their dreams with thoughts of happy gay people holding hands in a wedding chapel. Do not rip their retirement accounts to shreds, sell them bad home loans with a grunt and a slippery Wall Street grin. What are you, an amateur?

What you do is, you go direct. You grope them right on their tingly 'n forbidden genital regions, AKA God's country, AKA Father O'Malley's special secret, real and true and WTF-do-you-think-you're-doing. Works every time. Just ask the Vatican.

Sarah Palin declares war on South Korea

<via ThinkProgress>

Mama Sasquatch Sarah Palin made a special appearance on Glenn Beck’s famous radio program this morning, and W.T.F???  When asked by one of Beck’s radio groupies how she would “handle a situation like this thing in North Korea” after she becomes president, Sarah Palin went with the “obvious” answer: “Obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.”

 So basically Sarah Palin would throw diplomacy in the garbage can and immediately declare war on our “real allies,” the South Koreans, without even talking to them first. Christ. What a dumbshit.

Here's a cool idea: Classify 'happiness' as a psychiatric disorder!

In 1992, psychiatrist Richard Bentall wrote an article in the Journal of Medical Ethics proposing that happiness be classified as a psychiatric disorder.

It is proposed that happiness be classified as a psychiatric disorder and be included in future editions of the major diagnostic manuals under the new name: major affective disorder, pleasant type. In a review of the relevant literature it is shown that happiness is statistically abnormal, consists of a discrete cluster of symptoms, is associated with a range of cognitive abnormalities, and probably reflects the abnormal functioning of the central nervous system. One possible objection to this proposal remains--that happiness is not negatively valued. However, this objection is dismissed as scientifically irrelevant.

<Link>